Welcome, to Health & Wellbeing Magazine's Spirit Keeper monthly column.  This is the place where you will discover tips and practices for creating, developing and maintaining a personalised self-care practice as a Spirit Keeper.  If you are new to this month's Spirit Keeper column, I recommend reading past articles to find out what a spirit keeper is and subjects already covered around self-care practices.

Since July 2025 I have been expanding upon different exercises (rituals) which are spirit centred, mind centred and body centred.  Each month comes with a monthly challenge.  The idea is to prove to yourself and your own clients' the power of specific exercises (rituals) in integrating mind, body and spirit.  After all, in order for there to be change within the world, we need to be the ones who are embodying it and grounding it.

This is what you can look forward to in the months' ahead.

• Body centred practice – movement and spiritual connection
• Body centred practice – massage and detoxification
• Body centred practice – dancing and spiritual connection
• Body centred practice – body and nutrition

In this month's column we will be focusing on the focusing on the mind centred practice of Releasing and Spiritual Intelligence.  Spiritual intelligence develops as you learn to live with more presence in the present. Releasing internal narratives is a powerful way to return to the present.  This month's article focuses on moving between survival mode to thriving mode and giving you an understanding of why both are important for living daily on Mother Earth.

 Metaphorical Story Demonstrating the Power of Releasing & developing Spiritual Intelligence

 Yasmina climbed the Path of Whispers until the air grew thin and the roar of the world below faded into a hum. At the summit sat the Sage, Dhrona, a figure who seemed carved from the very mountain itself, watching the hawks circle in the valley below.

Yasmina approached Dhrona and asked if she could sit next to him.  Dhrona, the Sage motioned for her to sit and placed an old, rusted iron lantern between them. In the first silence, they sat companionably watching the vista and life unfolding down the mountain side and into the valley.  The colours, the sounds, the movement of life as it went about its daily existence.

"I am tired," Yasmina confessed, her shoulders pulled tight toward her ears. "I do everything right, yet I feel I am perpetually running from a shadow I cannot see. I am surviving, but I am not alive."

"You are living in the Armour of the Ancestors," Dhrona said softly. "It was forged for a time of war, meant to protect you from wild animals and storms. But you are wearing it in a garden, and its weight is crushing your bones."

The Weight of the Old Guard

"To survive," Dhrona explained, "the mind creates a reactive identity. It views the world as a series of threats to be managed. This keeps your inner fire  –  your nervous system  –  constantly stoked to a white-hot blaze. You cannot rest because you are waiting for the next strike."

Yasmina looked at her clenched hands and asked, "How do I calm my reactive identity?"

"You must practice the art of the great release," Dhrona replied. "You must let go of the outdated stories, the grievances, the 'should-haves,' and the old wounds you carry like stones in your pockets. The most powerful tool for this, known to every culture since the dawn of fire, is Forgiveness."

The Alchemy of Forgiveness

Yasmina recoiled slightly. "Forgiveness feels like surrendering. Like letting the shadows win."

"On the contrary," Dhrona smiled, "forgiveness is not for the shadow; it is for the lamp and the light. It is the act of deciding whether your peace is more important than your grudge. When you forgive, you stop being a prisoner of the past and become the architect of your future. You move from reaction to pro-action."

Dhrona, the Sage pointed to the valley below. "Observe what happens to the body when the mind armour falls by gently watching and witnessing the scene below."

Yasmina took in a deep breath and intentionally told her body to relax.   She then closed her eyes for half a minute before opening them again and gazing into the valley below.  As she observed life unfolding below in the valley, she felt her body relax and a sigh escaped through her mouth.

After several minutes, Dhrona said, "The benefits of becoming present and observing the present moment allows the nervous system to regulate.  The inner alarms fall silent and the body finally learns that the thinking war is over.  As you relax you naturally stimulate somatic growth and boost your immunity.  With your energy (mental and emotional) no longer spent on 'defence,' your body is able to direct its resources toward repair, cellular growth, and a fortified immune system.  The natural vital rhythms of your body begin to settle.  Your blood pressure settles like a calm sea, and your breath deepens, leading to the restorative sleep you've been denying yourself with the overactivity of the mind."

From Survival to Thriving

"When you are no longer bracing for impact," Dhrona continued, "your eyes change. You stop looking for exits and start looking for entrances. This is the shift into the Thrive Mode. Hope is not a feeling; it is a biological state which occurs when the mind is clear enough to see opportunity where it once saw only obstacles."

Yasmina took a long, shuddering breath. For the first time in years, she felt the tension in her chest begin to dissolve, like salt in warm water. She realized the "thriving" she sought wasn't a destination she had to reach, but a state of being she needed to allow herself to experience, preferably daily.

"The armour kept you safe," Dhrona whispered, "but your skin wants to feel the sun. Let it go."

Yasmina and Dhrona sat in companionable silence whilst she contemplated what Dhrona had shared about the power of releasing.

Dhrona explained further, "Releasing, whether through forgiveness, letting go of outdated beliefs, or somatic shedding acts as a bridge between the ego and the higher self. In the realm of Spiritual Intelligence (SQ), releasing is the process of clearing "the static" so the signal of the Soul can come through clearly."

Yasmina thanked Dhrona for explaining the power of releasing the mind's grip on survival and moving into a state of thriving.  Yasmina said, "If I have understood you correctly Dhrona, survival mode limits my identity, and this leads to me believing I am my trauma or feeling I cannot move beyond my self-imposed boundaries.  When I start to practice the art of releasing, I will come to realise I am the observer of my experiences, not the experiences themselves.  This practice will allow me to witness my thoughts instead of being enslaved by them."

Dhrona clapped his hands with excitement.  "Yasmina, you have learned well and the more you practice the art of the great release, the less your reactive identity plays the major role in daily living.  As you release your outdated thinking, grievances and self-imposed boundaries, you will begin to see the common threads of human suffering and fallibility.  This will shift your intelligence from a local ego-centric perspective to a holistic, unified perspective, which is the hallmark of spiritual maturity."

The valley and mountainside comings and goings kept Dhrona and Yasmina wrapped up in their individual thoughts and yet united by the observation of life and living in action.

"One last thing," whispered Dhrona, "when the nervous system is in a state of 'red alert' and survival mode, it drowns out the voice of the Soul, intuition.  By choosing to release and relax with awareness and reflection your body will respond by lowering blood pressure, create the internal silence necessary for you to hear your inner wisdom.  Spiritual intelligence relies on this inner knowing and only flourishes when the noise of survival is silenced for but a moment."

Yasmina pondered what Dhrona had just shared with her.  "Okay," she said, "survival mode is asking, 'How do I get through the day?'  whereas thriving mode asks, 'What is the meaning of this moment?'  One really needs both of these aspects in order to live well and to have a life filled with joy, wonder and inner peace.  This is because both have different roles to play.  Releasing my outdated thoughts, grievances, self-imposed boundaries frees up cognitive and spiritual energy required to find the purpose of life's challenges.  It allows me to transform 'what happened to me' into 'how can I grow from this experience?'"

Dhrona smiled at Yasmina and said, "This process is known as the Alchemy of the Soul.  Spiritual intelligence is practiced in the present.  Outdated thinking and grievances are time travellers from the past or a feared future.  Releasing acts as an anchor, bringing you into the present moment.  In this state, you are most spiritually intelligent because you are fully available to the reality of now."

Yasmina stood up and smiled at Dhrona.  "Thank you for your words of wisdom and kindness.  I really appreciate how important it is to release daily just so my body is able to experience relaxation and feeling safe in the present moment.  I am definitely going to commit to making this a daily self-care practice."   And with a nod to each other, Yasmina began her descent down from the mountain summit.  Each step down affirming her commitment to the power of releasing and integrating surviving and thriving appropriately in daily living.

The Power of Releasing & Letting Go

The biggest issue most of us have when it comes to anxiety and anger is our inability to recognise when we are over thinking and emotionally over-reacting to stories we are making up within our minds.  These stories we create are a way of seeking to process our feelings of quiet discontent which feel uncomfortable.

Releasing Outdated Thinking

Outdated thinking often consists of template beliefs formed in childhood or during a crisis (e.g., "I am not safe," or "I must be perfect to be loved").

• Authentic Identity: You move from a "reactive" identity (who you had to be to survive) to an "active" identity (who you choose to be now).
• Cognitive Flexibility: Releasing rigid beliefs allows the brain to transition from "survival mode" (narrowed focus) to "thrive mode" (broadened thinking). This is known as the "Broaden-and-Build Theory", where positive, updated thoughts expand your awareness and problem-solving abilities.
• Reduced Decision Fatigue: When you stop filtering every new experience through a 10-year-old trauma lens, you spend less energy over-analysing threats which aren't necessarily there.

 Releasing Trauma and Stifled Resilience

Trauma keeps the nervous system in a state of hypervigilance (constantly scanning for danger) or numbness (emotional shutdown). Releasing and relaxing techniques help to provide:

• Improved Somatic Health: Chronic trauma is linked to a state of being stressed and prolonged stress creates high cortisol, which weakens the immune system. Releasing mental and emotional issues and relaxing the physical body can lead to lower blood pressure, better sleep, and reduced physical tension.
• Nervous System Regulation: Processing trauma shifts the body from the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight) to the parasympathetic system (rest and digest).
• Post-Traumatic Growth: This is the phenomenon where individuals don't just "bounce back" but actually thrive because they have processed the trauma and no longer allow their thoughts to engulf them creating anxiety, grief, apathy and anger. Benefits include a deeper sense of purpose and stronger interpersonal connections.  Connection with life is something everything yearns for.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often misunderstood as excusing a wrong or reconciling with an offender. In psychology, it is defined as the intentional release of resentment.

 "Internal" Benefits of Releasing Anger, Anxiety & Resentment

• Lowered Stress Levels: Research shows that increased forgiveness is significantly associated with decreases in cortisol and mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression.
• Reclaiming Agency: Unforgiveness keeps you tethered to the person who hurt you. Forgiveness "breaks the circuit," ensuring that the offender no longer has the power to dictate your current emotional state.
• Restored Hope: Forgiveness allows you to stop looking at the past for "justice" which may never come and instead look toward a future that isn't defined by the injury.

Comparing States of Mind & Benefits of Releasing

EXERCISE:  LETTER OF RELEASE

To draft a Letter of Release, we use the alchemy of forgiveness, not to excuse the past or someone's behaviours toward you which have been hurtful;  but to empty your "pockets" of the weight of emotional and mental overthinking which is creating stress in your mind, body and spirit. This is a private ritual. You do not need to send this to anyone.  The purpose of this exercise is to tell your nervous system the threat has passed and/or continues but you do not need to over react.

Below is a template letter designed to move you from a Reactive state to a Proactive one. Fill in the bracketed sections with whatever feels heaviest today.

The Letter of Release:  To [Name or the Specific Circumstance/Belief],

I am writing this to acknowledge the space you have occupied in my mind and my body. For a long time, carrying the memory of [describe the event or the outdated belief, e.g., "how I was overlooked" or "the belief that I am not enough"] served as a shield. It kept me vigilant, and it kept me in survival mode.

I acknowledge that this "armour" was meant to protect me. I thank my mind and younger self for trying to keep me safe.  However, the cost of carrying this has become too high.

I recognise and understand holding onto this grievance has kept my nervous system on high alert. It has clouded my judgement, tightened my shoulders and stolen my ability to see the opportunities in front of me. To stay in "Survival Mode" is to remain a prisoner of what has already happened or continuing to happen and feeling hopeless.

Today, I choose to Thrive.

• I Forgive: I release the demand for a different past. I forgive [name the person / yourself / mind& body / this situation], not because what happened was right, but because my peace, health and wellbeing is a priority.
• I Release: I drop the weight of [mention a specific feeling, e.g., "this resentment" or "this constant self-criticism"]. I am no longer available to carry it.
• I Reclaim: I take back the energy I used for bracing and redirection. I choose to use that energy for my growth, my health and wellbeing, together with building a better future.

I am no longer reacting to what has happened / is happening to me. I am a proactive co-creator of what happens next. The internal war of my over thinking and emotional over-reaction is over. I am safe to set this down.

Signed, [Your Name]

What to do next:

Once you have written this out (ideally by hand), you can perform a physical act of release to signal to your brain that the "transaction" is complete:

1. Read it aloud to the room to give the words weight.
2. Safely burn the letter or shred it into small pieces.
3. Drink a glass of water and take ten slow, deep breaths, noticing the lightness in your chest.

EXERCISE: PROACTIVE AFFIRMATIONS & INTENTIONS

Since you have cleared the space by releasing the old "armour," it is vital to fill that void with Proactive Affirmations. Unlike passive wishes, these are "Identity Statements" which tell your nervous system how to operate in Thrive Mode.

Choose the category that resonates most with where you want to go next:

 For Nervous System & Physical Vitality

Focus: Lowering blood pressure, improving sleep, and somatic healing.

• "My body is no longer a battlefield; it is a sanctuary of restoration and repair."
• "I give my nervous system permission to settle, knowing I am safe in the present moment."
• "With every breath, I circulate vitality, strength, and calm to every cell in my body."

 For Proactive Identity & Power

Focus: Moving from "Why is this happening to me?" to "What can I create?"

• "I am the architect of my day, not a passenger to my circumstances."
• "I trade my 'should-haves' for 'I-wills,' reclaiming my power to choose my path."
• "I no longer wait for permission to be happy; I generate my own peace from within."

 For Restored Hope & Opportunity

Focus: Seeing the world with fresh eyes and a growth mindset.

• "Because I have set down my heavy burdens, my eyes are clear to see the doors opening before me."
• "I am a magnet for new opportunities that align with my highest wellbeing."
• "My past was a lesson, but my future is a blank canvas that I paint with hope."

EXERCISE:  The "PROACTIVE ANCHOR" PRACTICE

To make proactive affirmations and intentions stick, try this Somatic Anchor:

• Touch: Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly.
• Speak: Say your chosen affirmation out loud.
• Feel: As you say it, visualize a warm light expanding from your chest to your limbs. This helps "wire" the thought into your physical body, moving it from a mere idea to a biological reality.

EXERCISE:  THE MORNING MANIFESTO

This Morning Manifesto is designed to be read aloud the moment you wake up. By doing so, you prime your nervous system for proactive engagement rather than reactive survival before your feet even hit the floor.

My Morning Manifesto: The Shift to Thrive

The Release: Today, I leave the heavy armour of yesterday at the edge of my bed. I forgive the debts of the past, both those owed to me and those I thought I owed others. I refuse to carry the stones of anger, anxiety, guilt and resentment into the garden of my mind.  My mind is clear, and my grip is loose.

 The Regulation:  I speak to my body with kindness. My breath is deep, my heart is steady, and my nervous system is calm. I am not under threat; I am under grace. I give my body permission to heal, to grow, and to thrive in the stillness of this new day.

The Proactive Identity: I am not a victim of my circumstances, but a co-creator of my environment with God. I do not wait for the world to give me peace; I bring my peace to the world. I move from "I have to" to "I get to." I am the architect of my energy and the master of my focus.

The Restoration of Hope:  My eyes are open to the hidden doors and the quiet opportunities which survival mode once hid from me. Today, I don't just look for obstacles to avoid; I look for beauty to build upon. I am worthy of rest, I am capable of growth, and I am ready to thrive.

Today, I choose life. Today, I choose me.

How to use the Morning Manifesto:

• The Power of Sound: Reading this aloud (even in a whisper) uses your own voice to vibrate the vagus nerve, which signals "safety" to your brain.
• The Mirror Effect: If you find a particular line difficult to believe, look yourself in the eyes in a mirror while saying it. This builds "self-attunement."
• The Post-it Note: Consider picking one sentence from the morning manifesto which felt the most powerful to you and put the post-it note where you will see it mid-afternoon when "survival mode" usually tries to creep back in.

Summary & Conclusion

Releasing outdated thinking and unresolved trauma is not just about "moving on".  It is a physiological and psychological recalibration which allows the mind, body and spirit to feel peaceful. When we hold onto old scripts (the mental and emotional shortcuts we developed to survive past pain) they act like a software update that never finishes installing; thereby slowing down our entire system.  By actively releasing these "glitches" with awareness, you unlock specific benefits which directly fuel emotional resilience and feelings of inner peace.

Monthly Challenge

If you are an active practising healing practitioner, I would recommend having a specific time where you release issues brought up through your personal and professional relationships.

Other techniques you can use for releasing are:

• Emotional Freedom Technique
• Katie Byron's The Work
• The Love Codes by Dr Alexander Lloyd
• The Sedona Method by Lester Levenson / Hale Dwoskin

Next month …

In next month's column we will be focusing on the body centred practice of movement and spiritual connection.  Movement is a powerful tool in the Spirit Keeper's toolbox as well as being one of the keys to unlocking the wisdom of higher conscious awareness.

Until next month. From one kindred spirit to another – be safe, be well, be authentically you.

In gratitude

Kathleen