Every Monday morning at 9am, I join an online group of women entrepreneurs for a planning and co-working meeting which has the delicious name of “Get S*** Done”.
The purpose of this weekly catch up is for us to check-in, review our past week, plan the coming one and start with some tasks, whilst sharing some insights, holding each other accountable and being supportive as the constant ebb and flow of life reflects through each one of us.
In one of our recent sessions, someone said in reference to ‘eating the frog’ and getting on with some tasks that she felt were draining: “I am being an adult”. It was tongue in cheek of course, especially as all of us in this recurring meeting are more than well established in our respective era of adulthood. But somehow her comment stuck with me and I have been thinking about it since.
First, let’s clarify that by “being an adult”, I refer to behaviours and attitudes, not the age bracket. We all know adults who do not act like one. But what makes one an adult can also be subjective. Upon reflection, I found that there are some traits, if not values, that are required to qualify as a sane and healthy adult person.
The first is the unique human ability to transcend and reach above and beyond oneself whilst remaining, as much as possible, in touch with one’s soul and divine nature, and to do so consciously.
This segues into the necessity of having an acquired level of awareness and discernment that only life experience coupled with attention and critical thinking can allow. Then comes the capacity to interact with one another and communicate in ways that carry thoughtfulness, consideration and respect but also truth. So much in human relationships can be damaged and cause pain because of poor interpersonal and communication skills. This becomes amplified when one’s words don’t hold any weight. An adult is reliable and can be trusted because the talk is walked, the actions match the words, there is alignment instead of deceit. An adult can make the difference between values and countervalues and from this distinction, take a stand, commit and prioritise appropriately.
Oscillating with flexibility between detachment and healthy attachment, the sense of self is strong enough to be independent in thoughts and actions and hold proper boundaries, which consequently lead to free choice and decisions that will shape the path ahead.
When facing life’s challenges, emotional regulation, patience and resourcefulness are not only available but fundamental to remain solution-orientated and self-determined.
Undoubtedly, true adulthood encompasses the notion of responsibleness and not just responsibility towards some unavoidable obligations. Maturity exudes from all of this and holds an energy that can never be impersonated. Energy doesn’t lie.
This isn’t an exhaustive list nor an academic one. It’s intended to be read as a proposed foundational principle of observation that can be referred to for both personal or external analysis and mapping. If adulthood was a territory with a distinctive flag, I’ll personally make sure to do my best to stand in it and “raise the colour”.
About the Author: Mahé Léa
