Grace: the Judgement Antidote

Anyone felt judged recently?

Or am I the only who feels that the world has become more judgy?

Social media has a potential to be a force for good, and yet, the speed of fast-paced impulsive responses seems to increase intolerance, polarisation, cancel culture and culture wars.

Photo by Ayumi Photo

Trying to keep up with what’s socially acceptable to say and act has become exhausting. So much so, that most of us have given up, and withdrawn from the fray, and have become silenced.

Don’t believe me?

You don’t agree you’ve been silenced?

Tell me you don’t have a list of verboten subjects you’d be nervous to discuss outside of your close inner circle…or you simply feel too tired to have the debate if you share what you really feel!

Judgement used to mean the ability to make considered decisions, suggesting discernment. And nowadays, discernment feels far away from modern sensibilities.

So what’s the antidote to intolerant instant judgeyness?

Photo by Jerry Moreno

Grace. It’s an old-fashioned word that we all know. You might consider the lyrics of the hymn Amazing Grace, when even those who are lost are found. You might recall the blessing at a meal, perhaps even in Latin, giving thanks. If you are more philosophically minded, you might be thinking of the three Greek graces famous for beauty, joy and elegance. And yet, it’s a word we find difficult to define…

There are two quotes on grace which speak to something of what grace feels like to me:

“Grace is the permanent climate of divine kindness; the perennial infusion of springtime into the winter of bleakness.“

Everyday Gyaan (John O’Donohue)

“Grace overcomes shame, not by uncovering an overlooked cache of excellence in ourselves but simply by accepting us, the whole of us…“

Spirituality & Practice (Lewis B. Smedes)

Photo by Mohd Ayoub Nayiak

This speaks to me of grace being a blessing of benevolence that sheds light into the dark, that welcomes all that we are, such that there is no space for the shaming of intolerance, rejection and judgement. A gift from the divine that is bestowed upon us, without judgement. And in these dark times, we need the light of that grace more than ever.

In Sanskrit, anugraha is the term associated with the blessings or favour bestowed by divine grace, such that the divine itself is embracing, holding, and guiding us on our spiritual path. One might even say, that the state of grace is akin to invoking the divine.

So how do we land this ethereal, spiritual sense of grace and apply it to the real world?

Here are three suggestions of how to connect with grace in everyday life and make it real:

• Restraint
• Compassion
• Stillness

Restraint

The yamas are the first of the 8 limbs of yoga, representing the ethical, moral and social restraints to guide our interactions in the world. Simply put, these are the “don’t dos” for life, and includes ahimsa, non-violence or non-harm to others include thoughts, words and deeds, satya, truthfulness to live with integrity, and asteya, not stealing what is not freely offered, from time, ideas or things. The two that are most relevant to our world are brahmacharya, moderation and the appropriate use of energy to focus on what truly matters, and aparigraha, non-possessiveness – not being greedy or being attached to things and outcomes.

This suggests that we need to be more restrained in how we approach the world, more mindful perhaps in our use of social media, and how we engage and communicate with others. Perhaps we are being invited to act with more grace in the world, rather than the impulsive reactions of intolerance and rejection – what I term “not-like-me”. Perhaps we are being invited to refrain from following the crowd, and to act more thoughtfully.

Photo by Naveen Ketterer

Compassion

And yet, grace is a state of being that is not simply spiritual.

If I invite you to give yourself grace, you might find yourself softly exhaling and letting go of tension you might be holding onto. With that soft “ah” of release, there is a pause that takes place, allowing the emergence of a sense of compassion. We connect with grace through offering ourselves compassion.

You have the power to offer yourself grace through self-compassion, if we only grant ourselves a long enough pause to do so.

Photo by Traveler stories photos 旅人故事相片集

Stillness

Finding stillness and quiet allows us to listen deeply, and to sense how grace moves in our lives.

This may come from mindfulness, meditation or prayer, depending on your personal preference.

One may also find this through slow mindful breath-aligned movement, whether that’s tai chi, yoga or other forms of meditative movement. If you are familiar with pranayama or other forms of breathwork, conscious breathing may also help cultivate stillness.

The spaciousness that comes from stillness invites in an expansiveness that allows us to simply breathe and be. That state of conscious being allows us to sense grace.

Photo by David Selbert

Grace, the antidote to modern judgement.

Grace is a needed sensibility now, more than ever. Instead of competing with the Joneses on material gain and social cachet, what would happen if we shifted the dialogue to living lives that shine light into the dark.

Grace is not an action; it is not something we do to ourselves or others.

Grace is a gift from the divine, the universe, or even God, however you connect to divinity. Grace descends from the divine upon us, embracing and holding us in its blessings to guide us towards our own inner light if only we are still enough to sense it.

Photo by Albinas Kirkilas

Will you allow more quiet and restraint into your life, such that you can step into compassion to be in touch with grace, and dare to change the conversation?

May your path to grace be blessed & joyful.

Main – Photo by Pixabay