Interviewing for Heart and Skill

What to Ask & What to Notice

Samantha Newton is a senior HR consultant specialising in employee relations, leadership, and team alignment. She works closely with values-led and wellness-focused business owners to help them hire well, protect culture, and build sustainable practices that support both people and performance.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard, “They interviewed really well,” followed by months of difficulty once the person joined. Interviews often focus on competence, but in values-led businesses, emotional fit is just as critical, and far easier to miss if you’re not looking for it deliberately.

Most interviews are designed to confirm competence.

They focus on qualifications, experience, and whether someone can do the job. In many businesses, that’s enough. In wellness-focused businesses, it rarely is.

I often hear owners say, “They interviewed really well.”
And they’re usually right. The candidate answered confidently, had the right experience, and said all the right things. On paper, it felt like a good decision.

But a few weeks or months in, something starts to feel off.

It’s rarely about skill.
It’s about fit.

“Interviews don’t fail because people lie, they fail because we ask the wrong questions.”

Why traditional interviews miss what matters

Standard interview questions tend to reward confidence and preparation. Candidates talk about strengths, achievements, and success stories, all useful, but limited.

In wellness businesses, the work is relational. It involves emotional awareness, boundaries, and the ability to stay grounded when others are distressed. These qualities don’t always show up in rehearsed answers.

That’s why interviewing for heart and skill requires a shift in focus. Instead of trying to confirm whether someone looks right on paper, you’re trying to understand how they think, reflect, and respond, especially under pressure.

This doesn’t mean interrogating people or crossing personal boundaries. It means creating space for insight rather than performance.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Ask questions that invite reflection, not perfection

The most useful interview questions aren’t designed to catch people out. They’re designed to reveal how someone understands themselves and their impact on others.

Questions such as:

• “Tell me about a time you received feedback that was difficult to hear, what did you do with it?”
• “How do you notice when you’re becoming emotionally stretched at work?”
• “Can you describe a situation where you had to hold a boundary with a client or colleague?”

There’s no single “right” answer to these questions. What matters is how someone responds.

Do they reflect thoughtfully, or become defensive?
Do they take responsibility, or shift blame?
Do they show curiosity about their own reactions?

“Emotional intelligence shows up in how people talk about difficulty.”

These conversations tell you far more about long-term fit than a list of competencies ever will.

Listen beyond the words

Interviews are relational experiences. Pay attention not just to what’s said, but to how the conversation feels.

Notice:

• how the person listens
• whether they interrupt or pause to reflect
• how they speak about previous employers, colleagues, or clients
• whether they respect time, structure, and boundaries in the conversation

These cues are subtle, but they matter, especially in environments where emotional safety is important.

If someone consistently speaks negatively about others, struggles to acknowledge their own learning, or dismisses boundaries, that’s information worth taking seriously.

“People often show you who they are when they talk about others.”

Create an interview that reflects your culture

The interview itself is an experience of your business. Candidates are learning about you just as much as you’re learning about them.

A welcoming interview doesn’t mean an unstructured one. In fact, clear structure often creates a greater sense of safety.

Be clear about:

• how long the interview will last
• what will be covered
• who will be involved
• what the next steps are

This communicates professionalism and respect, qualities you likely want reflected in your team.

The tone matters too. Calm, present interviews tend to bring out more authentic responses than high-pressure or overly formal ones.

“People show up more honestly when the structure is clear.”

Notice how it feels & trust that information

Many business owners have strong instincts, but don’t always trust them in hiring. They override early discomfort because the person looks good on paper, or because they’re keen to fill the role.

Pay attention to how you feel during and after the interview:

• Did the conversation feel grounded or draining?
• Did you feel clearer or more confused afterwards?
• Could you imagine working alongside this person day to day?

This isn’t about gut instinct alone. It’s about noticing patterns and responses that align, or don’t, with the environment you’re trying to protect.

“Your nervous system often notices misalignment before your logic does.”

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Balance warmth with clarity

In wellness businesses, interviews can sometimes tip into being overly informal or conversational. While warmth is important, clarity matters just as much.

Be clear about expectations, boundaries, and standards. This isn’t unkind, it’s respectful. It allows candidates to make an informed decision about whether the role genuinely suits them.

If someone reacts poorly to clarity in the interview, that’s useful information. It’s far better to discover misalignment early than after someone has joined the team.

A moment to pause

Before your next interview, reflect on this:

• What qualities matter most in this role beyond technical skill?
• What questions would help you understand how someone manages emotional responsibility?
• What would misalignment look like, and how would it show up?

Preparation isn’t about scripting the perfect interview. It’s about knowing what you’re listening for.

Why this approach protects everyone

Interviewing for heart and skill isn’t about raising the bar unrealistically. It’s about being intentional.

When you hire people who are emotionally aligned as well as competent, teams function more smoothly. Boundaries are respected. Clients feel safer. And you, as the owner, spend less time managing tension and more time leading the business.

“The best interviews don’t impress; they clarify.”

Reflection for the week

After your next interview, ask yourself:

• How did I feel during that conversation?
• What did I learn about how this person handles difficulty?
• Did anything feel misaligned, even subtly?

If something feels off, pause before moving forward. Clarity now prevents complications later.