How the Words We Tell Ourselves Shape the Lives We Live
Since I can remember, I have been curious about people.
As a child, I loved entertaining those around me. I enjoyed making people smile, laugh and, perhaps for a few moments, see the world differently. I was fascinated by fictional characters, stories and the extraordinary possibilities of the imagination.
As I grew older, however, that curiosity developed into something deeper.
I began asking questions.
Why do we behave the way we do? Why can two people experience similar circumstances yet respond completely differently? Why do some people transform their lives while others remain trapped in patterns they desperately want to escape?
And perhaps the most difficult question of all: Who am I?
My search for answers led me in many directions. I explored psychology, personal development, hypnosis, philosophy, spirituality and metaphysics. I became a performer and stood on stages. I appeared on television discussing hypnosis and the human mind. I worked with people seeking personal change, and eventually became an educator, sharing what I had learned with students from around the world.
Yet something interesting happened along the way.
The more I learned, the more I realised how much I still did not know.
Perhaps that is the beautiful paradox of curiosity. Every answer seems to reveal another question.
The Unseen Conversation Within Us
Throughout my journey, one subject has continued to fascinate me: the extraordinary influence of the words we repeatedly tell ourselves.
Every day, whether we realise it or not, we engage in an internal conversation.
I can do this.
I am not good enough.
Things always go wrong for me.
I am learning.
I am afraid.
I am becoming stronger.
These seemingly simple statements can gradually influence how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
This is where the concept of autosuggestion becomes particularly interesting.
Autosuggestion is the deliberate use of repeated ideas, statements and mental imagery to influence our patterns of thought and behaviour.
It is not magic.
Repeating “I am confident” three times in front of a mirror will not instantly transform every insecurity.
Meaningful personal change is usually more complex than that.
But the ideas we repeatedly focus upon can influence our attention, expectations and behaviour. And when our inner dialogue changes, we may begin noticing possibilities that previously remained invisible to us.
Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash
You Are Always Listening
One of the greatest lessons I have learned through my exploration of hypnosis is that we should become more conscious of the suggestions we give ourselves.
Imagine repeatedly telling yourself:
“I always fail.”
How might that belief affect your willingness to try?
How might it influence your behaviour when an opportunity appears?
Now consider a different inner conversation:
“I may not know how to do this yet, but I can learn.”
The circumstances have not magically changed.
But something within you has.
The second statement creates possibility.
And sometimes possibility is where transformation begins.
The Power of Imagination
The human imagination has always fascinated me.
Before we create something in the external world, we can often experience some version of it internally.
An athlete may mentally rehearse a performance.
A speaker may imagine confidently addressing an audience.
Someone experiencing a difficult period may visualise themselves responding with greater calm and resilience.
Through practices such as hypnosis, meditation, visualisation and intentional self-reflection, we can create moments in which we consciously examine the stories we have been telling ourselves.
We can ask:
Is this belief helping me?
Where did it come from?
Is there another way of seeing this situation?
Who am I becoming?
These are not always comfortable questions.
But meaningful growth rarely begins with pretending that everything is perfect.
Sometimes it begins by becoming curious about ourselves.
My Own Search Continues
Today, I wear many titles.
Performer.
Educator.
Hypnotist.
Metaphysician.
But increasingly, I find myself identifying with something much simpler.
Explorer.
I am still fascinated by the same questions that fascinated me years ago.
What is the mind capable of?
How much can a person change?
What gives our lives meaning?
What lies beyond the limits of our current understanding?
I do not pretend to have all the answers.
In fact, the older I become, the more comfortable I am becoming with uncertainty.
Perhaps wisdom is not about reaching a point where we finally understand everything.
Perhaps it is about maintaining the courage to continue exploring.
A Simple Practice for Wellbeing
I invite you to try something simple.
Take a few quiet moments today.
Close your eyes.
Allow your breathing to become comfortable.
Then ask yourself:
“What have I been repeatedly telling myself lately?”
Do not judge the answer.
Simply notice.
Then ask:
“What would I choose to tell myself instead?”
Choose something realistic, compassionate and constructive.
Perhaps:
I am learning to trust myself.
I can face uncertainty one step at a time.
I am allowed to grow.
My past does not have to determine my future.
I can become more conscious of the life I am creating.
Repeat your chosen statement slowly.
Imagine what your life might look like if you began living from that idea.
And then take one small action consistent with it.
Because autosuggestion is most powerful not when words replace action, but when words help us change the direction of our actions.
Photo by Neal E. Johnson on Unsplash
The Journey Within
My own search for meaning has taken me through stages, classrooms, books, conversations, moments of uncertainty and countless hours exploring the mysteries of the human mind.
And the journey continues.
Perhaps there is still something of that curious child within me—the one who looked at the world with wonder and wanted to understand it.
Maybe that is something worth protecting within all of us.
The willingness to wonder.
The courage to question.
The imagination to envision something different.
And the awareness that, among all the voices we hear throughout our lives, one of the most influential may be the quiet voice within.
So perhaps the question is not simply:
“Who am I?”
Perhaps it is also:
“Who am I becoming—and what am I telling myself along the way?”
Main – Photo by Jacki Drexler on Unsplash
About the Author: Andrew Soler
