Toxic Positivity in Fertility

The Pressure to Be Okay

“Just stay positive and it will happen.”

If you’ve been on a fertility journey, chances are you’ve heard this more times than you can count.

I remember those words all too well. At first, they sounded hopeful. But over time, they began to feel like pressure. I found myself caught between two worlds: the one where I wanted to stay optimistic, and the one where I felt like I was failing—my body, myself, and even my partner. I started to believe that something must be wrong with me—not just physically, but emotionally too. That maybe I wasn’t being “positive enough.”

And then came the well-meaning advice:
“Stop thinking about it.”
“Take a holiday—it always happens when you’re not trying.”
“Just relax and trust.”

Behind those suggestions was an unspoken message: Your pain is too much. Tidy it up. Smile through it.

But here’s the thing – I’m a mindset coach.

I deeply believe in the power of mindset to support the fertility journey. I believe our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions have a direct impact on our nervous system and hormonal balance. But that’s not the same as pretending everything is okay when it’s not.

There’s a fine line between genuine positivity and toxic positivity—the kind that asks you to suppress your emotions, push down your grief, and plaster a smile over your heartbreak.

When positivity becomes a mask, it stops helping. It disconnects you from your truth. And in a journey as raw and vulnerable as fertility, connection to yourself is vital.

What I advocate instead is awareness.

Awareness of your inner dialogue. Awareness of the fear, the sadness, the jealousy, the frustration—without judgment. Not to stay stuck in it, but to meet it with compassion and curiosity.

To gently ask:
What’s really behind this thought? What do I need right now?

Because real mindset work is not about forcing yourself to feel good—it’s about understanding what’s getting in the way of feeling whole.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

You’re allowed to have bad days. You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to scream into a pillow and say “this isn’t fair.” That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

And ironically, it’s when we allow space for our real emotions that we make room for hope, softness, and even joy to return—not as pressure, but as possibility.

So if you’re tired of trying to be perfect, let that go.
You don’t have to be endlessly positive. You just have to be real.

That’s more than enough.


Main – Photo by RDNE Stock project

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About the Author: Laetitia Felix

Laetitia Felix is a Fertility Mindset Coach and founder of Mindset, Body & Soul, dedicated to supporting women navigating unexplained infertility and pregnancy after loss. With a holistic, heart-led approach, Laetitia blends science-backed techniques with deep emotional healing to help women reconnect with their bodies, work with their mindset, release subconscious, emotional & energetic blocks, and align mind, body, and soul for conception. Having experienced her own fertility challenges prior to naturally conceive her daughter at 40 —four years of unexplained infertility, multiple losses, adenomyosis, low AMH, and being told her only option was IVF with time quickly running out—Laetitia deeply understands the silent grief, fear, and frustration that accompany this path. But she also knows firsthand that conception is far from being just a physical or medical process. It's an emotional, mental, and spiritual journey—one that calls us to reconnect with ourselves, heal deeply held wounds, and align every part of our being to open the doorway to new life. Today, she channels her experience and training in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Hypnosis, Energy Healing, and NLP-based Mindset Coaching to guide others through their own transformation. Her work gently weaves in inner child and womb healing, creating a safe space for deep emotional release and reconnection. She helps women move from a place of anxiety and disconnection to one of calm, trust, and empowerment—whether they're trying to conceive naturally or with medical assistance. She also supports women in processing the emotional trauma of pregnancy loss and birth trauma—whether they are preparing to conceive again, navigating pregnancy after loss, or simply seeking space to grieve, heal, and reconnect with themselves. Connect with Laetitia and find powerful content, free resources, and inspiration to support your fertility and pregnancy journey and help you reclaim your sense of wholeness and walk this journey with clarity, strength, and hope. Contact Details Website Instagram Facebook