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Toxic Positivity in Fertility

Published On: August 5, 2025By Tags: , , , , ,

The Pressure to Be Okay

“Just stay positive and it will happen.”

Photo by RDNE Stock project

If you’ve been on a fertility journey, chances are you’ve heard this more times than you can count.

I remember those words all too well. At first, they sounded hopeful. But over time, they began to feel like pressure. I found myself caught between two worlds: the one where I wanted to stay optimistic, and the one where I felt like I was failing—my body, myself, and even my partner. I started to believe that something must be wrong with me—not just physically, but emotionally too. That maybe I wasn’t being “positive enough.”

And then came the well-meaning advice:
“Stop thinking about it.”
“Take a holiday—it always happens when you’re not trying.”
“Just relax and trust.”

Behind those suggestions was an unspoken message: Your pain is too much. Tidy it up. Smile through it.

But here’s the thing – I’m a mindset coach.

I deeply believe in the power of mindset to support the fertility journey. I believe our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions have a direct impact on our nervous system and hormonal balance. But that’s not the same as pretending everything is okay when it’s not.

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich

There’s a fine line between genuine positivity and toxic positivity—the kind that asks you to suppress your emotions, push down your grief, and plaster a smile over your heartbreak.

When positivity becomes a mask, it stops helping. It disconnects you from your truth. And in a journey as raw and vulnerable as fertility, connection to yourself is vital.

What I advocate instead is awareness.

Awareness of your inner dialogue. Awareness of the fear, the sadness, the jealousy, the frustration—without judgment. Not to stay stuck in it, but to meet it with compassion and curiosity.

To gently ask:
What’s really behind this thought? What do I need right now?

Because real mindset work is not about forcing yourself to feel good—it’s about understanding what’s getting in the way of feeling whole.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

You’re allowed to have bad days. You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to scream into a pillow and say “this isn’t fair.” That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

And ironically, it’s when we allow space for our real emotions that we make room for hope, softness, and even joy to return—not as pressure, but as possibility.

So if you’re tired of trying to be perfect, let that go.
You don’t have to be endlessly positive. You just have to be real.

Photo by Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash

That’s more than enough.

Main – Photo by RDNE Stock project

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About the Author: Laetitia Felix

Laetitia Felix is a Fertility & Pregnancy Coach & Mind-Body Practitioner, founder of Mindset, Body & Soul, dedicated to supporting women navigating unexplained and/or secondary infertility and emotionally challenging pregnancies. Having experienced her own fertility challenges before naturally conceiving her daughter at 40 - four years of unexplained infertility, multiple losses, adenomyosis & low AMH - Laetitia deeply understands the silent grief, fear, and frustration that can accompany this path. But she also knows firsthand that conception is far from being just a physical or medical process. While many women do everything “right” physically — tests, supplements, treatments, tracking, lifestyle changes — there is often a missing piece rarely acknowledged: the emotional, subconscious, and nervous system aspect of fertility. This is the gap Laetitia bridges. Today, she combines her personal experience with training in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Hypnosis, Energy Healing, and NLP-based Mindset Coaching — including inner child and womb healing — to support women through deep emotional transformation. Through reconnecting with the body, creating inner safety, processing unresolved emotions and trauma, and aligning conscious and subconscious beliefs, she helps women move out of survival mode and into a state where the body feels safe to receive and sustain life. She helps women move from anxiety, fear, and disconnection toward calm, trust, empowerment, and hope, whether they are trying to conceive naturally or alongside medical support. She also supports women throughout pregnancy — particularly after a difficult conception journey, loss, birth trauma — helping them feel emotionally safe, connected, and supported as they move through pregnancy. Connect with Laetitia for powerful content, free resources, and support to help you reclaim your sense of wholeness and walk your fertility or pregnancy journey with greater clarity, strength, trust, and hope. Contact Details Website Instagram Facebook

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