Healing Childhood Wounds through Body Psychotherapy
Low self-esteem has many layers and can be a bio-product of various different aspects of our life, but in the core it is how we were understood and perceived at home as children. If we were perceived as a problem rather than as someone who needs help, the child’s perception of his self-worth and understanding is low.
To have a strong feel of our personal power and authority, we need recognition from our parents in a sensitive period at the age of 18 months to up to about 5 years of age. As a result a child has a personal authority and acceptance of other authorities, good interaction with other kids, and a good relationship with a father and lifelong mutual respect. Without the balanced sense of authority, as adults we stay in constant fights with the authorities or submissive to it because of the imposition of father towards a child by force while breaking the child’s will. *
How Can Integral Body Psychotherapy Help?
- Through the connection and relationship with a therapist you rewire your implicit memory by building secure attachment
- By accessing your suppressed anger and/or sadness
- Building positive emotions and persistence which will result in adequate interpersonal relationships
My Story
In my early 20’s I left home. I had a feeling that I could not breathe. In London everything was acceptable, and I could finally do as and what I wanted. That led me to some scary places, decisions and people. I had no feeling of right and wrong, and no fear. Apparently, according to my parents, I was a very wild child and so the only way to get around my energy was to break it. That statement terrified me when I first heard about it.
In my mid 30’s I had a seemingly successful career in a big corporation. But I always had something to say to my authority. It did not bother me much how high up in the hierarchy, I always hated hierarchy anyways. Because I had no diplomacy in my expression, a lot of the time it was not taken well. But, if the authority was too loud, I would make myself small, but afterwards I would hate myself for it. I could not handle stress, and I did not know how to self-regulate. In my mind, it was all their fault, always.
I never had a feeling that I can, I never had a feeling that I am succeeding. But so deeply I did not want to live in the surroundings where I felt put down (read: home), and that fear gave me fuel to push my head through the wall whenever I could. Some call this resilience. But my system was not resilient, all this affected my body to the point of falling deep in depression at the end of reaching my goal. Any achievement, even if recognised from the outside, I could not take in. I could not internalise my success as an achievement. My system did not recognise success.
In therapy I was working through the destructive imprints of my functioning, looking into the subconscious mind, building a stable, safe relationship with my therapist, who was kindly there for me whenever it was needed and possible. After much therapy on diving deeper into the emotional wounds, and releasing the images, I am on the road of realising my personal power, independence, and emotional sensitivity. My memory is as never before, and my cognitive ability for estimating the surroundings serves my personal attainable path.
*Please be aware that this is just a small fraction of my personal story. There are many layers and the possibilities for the individual dive into the subject.
References
**Tomislav Kuljis, International Educational Training Institute https://ipd-center.eu/
Main – Photo by Suzana Zalokar
About the Author: Kristina Golub-Fabris
