When to Escalate

The Line Between “Coachable” & “Not Fit for Your Business”

One of the hardest decisions any wellbeing professional, practice owner, or small‑business leader faces is knowing when to keep supporting someone, and when to accept that they may no longer be the right fit for the team. Because we work in caring professions, we naturally want to help people grow. We believe in potential. We see the best in others. And we often give more chances than most.

But there comes a point where continued support stops being supportive, for the individual, for the team, and for the business. And knowing where that line sits is essential for maintaining a healthy, safe, and stable workplace.

This isn’t about being harsh. It’s about being responsible. It’s about protecting wellbeing, including your own.

The Myth of “Everyone Is Coachable”

In wellbeing circles, there’s a common belief that everyone can grow with the right support. And while it’s true that people can change, it’s also true that not everyone is willing, ready, or able to change within the needs of your workplace.

Coaching requires:

• Openness
• Self‑awareness
• Willingness
• Accountability
• Consistency
• Emotional maturity

If these ingredients aren’t present, no amount of support will create sustainable change.

Some people respond beautifully to guidance. Others resist it, avoid it, or resent it. And some simply don’t want to be coached, even if they say they do.

Recognising this early prevents months of emotional labour and frustration.

Photo by Alena Darmel

The Difference Between “Coachable” & “Not Coachable”

Here’s a simple, grounded way to tell the difference.

A coachable person:

• Listens without defensiveness
• Reflects on feedback
• Makes visible effort
• Shows small but steady improvements
• Takes responsibility
• Communicates openly
• Wants to do well

They may not get everything right immediately, but you can feel their intention. Their behaviour shifts. Their energy changes. They lean in.

A non‑coachable person:

• Gets defensive or shuts down
• Blames others or external factors
• Repeats the same issues
• Makes promises but doesn’t follow through
• Avoids accountability
• Creates tension or emotional friction
• Shows little genuine effort

They may say the right things, but their behaviour doesn’t change. Or it changes briefly, then slips back. You feel like you’re dragging them uphill.

This distinction is crucial, because it tells you whether continued support is helpful or harmful.

Why Wellbeing Professionals Struggle With Escalation

People in caring professions often delay escalation because:

• They don’t want to hurt someone
• They feel responsible for the person’s growth
• They fear being seen as unkind
• They hope the issue will resolve naturally
• They worry about the emotional impact
• They want to avoid conflict
• They believe “one more chance” might work

But here’s the truth: Escalation isn’t a failure. It’s a boundary.

And boundaries are essential for wellbeing.

When you avoid escalation, you don’t protect the person, you prolong their struggle. You also place emotional and operational strain on the rest of the team.

Photo by Polina Zimmerman

The Cost of Keeping Someone Who Isn’t the Right Fit

Keeping the wrong person in the wrong role has consequences:

1. Emotional Drain

The team absorbs the tension, inconsistency, or negativity.

2. Reduced Standards

Others begin to wonder why poor behaviour is tolerated.

3. Increased Workload

High performers pick up the slack, often quietly.

4. Cultural Erosion

The emotional climate becomes heavier, less safe, less grounded.

5. Impact on Clients

In wellbeing settings, clients feel the energy of the team. Misalignment affects the client experience.

6. Burnout for the Leader

You carry the emotional labour of managing someone who isn’t meeting expectations.

Escalation isn’t just a business decision, it’s a wellbeing decision.

How to Know When It’s Time to Escalate

Here are the clearest indicators that escalation is appropriate:

1. The same issue repeats despite support

If you’ve had multiple conversations and nothing changes, the pattern is telling you something.

2. The person becomes defensive or resistant

If feedback consistently triggers defensiveness, growth is unlikely.

3. Their behaviour affects the team’s wellbeing

If others are stressed, frustrated, or anxious, the impact is too big to ignore.

4. You’re spending disproportionate emotional energy

If one person takes more energy than the rest of the team combined, something is misaligned.

5. They don’t take ownership

If responsibility is always externalised, change won’t stick.

6. You feel dread or tension around them

Your body often knows before your mind does.

7. You’ve already given more chances than you would anyone else

This is a sign of emotional over‑investment, not fairness.

When several of these are present, escalation is not only appropriate, it’s necessary.

Escalation Can Still Be Kind

Escalation doesn’t mean punishment. It means clarity.

It can sound like:

• “I’ve noticed the same issue is continuing despite our conversations.”
• “I want to be honest with you about where things stand.”
• “We need to see consistent change over the next few weeks.”
• “If things don’t improve, we’ll need to consider whether this role is still the right fit.”

Clear. Calm. Compassionate. Firm, but human.

This approach protects everyone, including the person who may be struggling.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev

The Bottom Line

Not everyone is coachable. Not everyone is the right fit. And not everyone will grow in the direction your workplace needs.

Escalation isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a sign of leadership. It’s a sign of care for the team. It’s a sign of respect for the individual. It’s a sign of commitment to a healthy, grounded workplace.

The most aligned workplaces aren’t the ones that avoid difficult decisions. They’re the ones that make them with clarity, compassion, and courage.

Main – Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom