Have you ever met someone who seemed almost too good to be true? Someone whose charm, devotion and admiration felt endless? What if that behaviour was more than confidence and instead masked something far more damaging?
In my younger years, I crossed paths with someone who appeared to offer everything I had ever dreamed of. He showed me overwhelming devotion, showered me with affection and fulfilled every emotional and material need I could imagine. At the time, I believed I had found the perfect partner, someone who made me feel valued, cherished and adored. I was over the moon. It felt like paradise, the kind of fairytale love I thought every young woman hoped for.
Photo by Scott Broome on Unsplash
For a while, I truly believed that love was measured by grand gestures, obsessive attention and constant validation. But slowly, cracks began to appear. His effort faded, his affection weakened, and the loving gestures that once swept me off my feet became rare. It was as though the mask he had worn so convincingly finally slipped. The person standing before me felt unfamiliar, distant and emotionally cold.
I began questioning everything.
Was it all fake?
Was the man I fell in love with ever real?
My mind was consumed with confusion and the cycle of doubt became endless.
Soon, everything felt like it was my fault. I was constantly made responsible for every disagreement, while he played the victim effortlessly. Whenever I tried to express my emotions or concerns, I was shut down, blamed, or manipulated into thinking I was the problem. Conversations weren't conversations, they were traps. Anything I said would be twisted and used against me.
I found myself walking on eggshells every day. I was terrified of upsetting him, terrified of asking questions and terrified of simply being myself. My mind became a battlefield of anxiety and emotional exhaustion. I convinced myself that if I held on long enough, the "old him" would return. But deep down, I knew the loving version of him had never truly existed. It was merely a façade.
Eventually, I reached a painful but necessary realisation: he was not going to change. His behaviour reflected clear narcissistic traits such as; manipulation, lack of empathy, blame-shifting and emotional control. Staying any longer meant losing myself entirely.
Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash
Walking away was heartbreaking, but it saved me. I chose my mental health, my peace and my future. Therapy played a crucial role in helping me heal, rebuild my self-worth and break free from the emotional damage that narcissistic abuse leaves behind.
If you are dealing with emotional abuse or narcissistic behaviour, please know this: you are not alone. My advice is to remove yourself from the situation, love yourself enough to walk away and seek professional support. Healing is possible… and you deserve it.
My Five Tips to Recover from Emotional Abuse:
1. Seek Professional Support
A trained therapist can help you process trauma, understand manipulation patterns and rebuild your sense of self.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries protect your emotional wellbeing and empower you to regain control.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself, honour your progress and remember your worth.
4. Reconnect with Your Support System
Lean on people who uplift you and remind you of your value.
5. Focus on Personal Growth & Self-Care
Rediscover practices and hobbies that nourish your mind, body and soul.
Healing from emotional abuse is a deeply personal journey and it takes courage to choose yourself again. As you rebuild your sense of self, remember that every small step forward is meaningful. You deserve safety, kindness and a love that honours who you are. Your experiences do not define you, your strength, resilience and ability to rise above them do. Trust that brighter days are ahead and know that you are worthy of a future filled with peace and genuine connection.
About the Author: Anastasia Franguolis
