The Guilt Trip

There was a time when you felt free and radiant.

Your light shone brightly and you were worry-free.

A time when you could feel the pulse of the universe running through your veins.

That wonderful time when you spent your days enjoying life was your infancy.

You couldn’t care less about the way the world worked.

You were playful and in the time that you spent playing you would be fully immersed in joy, playing, singing and dancing for as long as you wanted.

Photo by Skyler Ewing

‘Those were the days…’

you think, and as you read these lines, somehow, you feel transported to happy moments, memories, and situations that bring a smile to your face.

You may long for those days, or at least, for the feelings and emotions you felt back then.

You are a grown-up now and the world’s responsibilities have taken a toll on you and your life.

You might not even remember the last time you smiled, or sang, or danced.

You feel too serious, heavy, and your life resembles dry land that is unable to bear fruit.

You started long ago to feel inadequate, guilty about time wasted or not used well, doing things that never fulfilled you anyway.

You may have done things in the past that you are sorry for, that you regret, and sometimes you might feel tremendous guilt even for things that happened too long ago for others even to remember.

Photo by Charl Durand

The load on your mind starts to feel dense. It weighs on your body and starts aching.

Aching with all the sorrow and guilt from any wrongdoings you have somehow attached to and haven’t let go yet.

Soon enough, you start to feel hurt, not only from what continues to happen in your life, but hurt because you are not able to dissociate yourself from those feelings and thoughts.

They start to haunt you; they begin to diminish your confidence and your ability to live a fulfilling life.

They get in the way of even your most mundane and insignificant tasks.

You feel tremendously heavy and your life has become a painful experience.

Where is that child now? The one that used to laugh and play joyfully and carefree?

Where are your innocence and your innate joyfulness?

You see, guilt is just a way to feel about something that happened in your life.

You were not aware or even conscious of the impact it might have on your life and other people’s lives until it was too late.

The event or situation happened, and guilt and regret were what you have chosen to carry from it.

Photo by Liza Summer

Not a lesson learned, not letting it go as a sign of self-love and respect, but deeply kept inside your brain and emotions, inside your mind and particularly inside your body.

Until you decide to put an end to it, forgive yourself and everyone involved, it will continue to linger inside you, hurting you, causing you discomfort or even illness, and impacting your life and other people’s lives too.

The key lies within you, in the way you perceive this or any other reality, from simple to complex.

And the key is the recognition of the event, understanding its lesson and consciously forgiving everyone involved and deciding it’s time to let it go.

This might not sound easy to you, because you have a tonne of thoughts, feelings and actions that are still being carried in your mind, but consider that you are about to start a journey that will remove this heaviness layer by layer and will move you in a more positive direction.

This is a simple exercise you can do on a daily basis if you wish, that will help you along this path.

Start by closing your eyes and breathe deeply until you feel calm.

Photo by Emine Canpolat

Then see in your mind the event or situation that caused you this feeling.

You don’t need to relive it, just watch it from a distance and keep yourself as neutral as possible.

Now affirm, preferably aloud: ‘I choose to see a different story and for this I will write a new script’.

Next, imagine the same situation but with a positive ending for everyone involved.

Sense that you have gained more space to feel joy and move on to the next phase, forgiving yourself or others involved for the situation and wishing for a better outcome for everybody.

Now spend time seeing this new story in your mind and get yourself deep into the scenes and feel all the positive emotions that this other version is able to provide you with.

If possible, add some playfulness or joy to each scene and bring your memories as a happy child to play along with you.

You may leave the scene altogether now and spend some time playing with this memory of you as a child.

Now assess how you feel.

Lighter, brighter, happier?

You are able to change your life if you change the meaning you associate with what happens in it.

Photo by Pixabay

Keep choosing joy whenever possible, play whenever you get the chance and you will feel much lighter and happier.

Your guilt trip will finally be over as you will look forward to a much brighter future.

Be well.

Main – Photo by karatara