The Measure of Success

You probably have some areas of your life where you wish you could be more successful: maybe in your profession, either being an employee or owning the business, or maybe you wish you could be a better parent, a better partner, a better friend.

Success is measured by your own expectations and goals, so it's hard to really define what it is.

Photo by Min An

People who are perfectionists tend to raise the bar even higher and sometimes want to achieve what can be unattainable in the long run, but keep pushing for it, even at the expense of exhaustion or burnout.

You see, the issue with perfectionism is that the goal keeps moving.

Once a goal is achieved, another one comes up: better, bigger or wider.

Usually, these goals tend to be long-term ones as perfectionists thrive on the quest and challenge of achieving them, particularly if they are hard to get. They keep feeling dissatisfied even when one of the goals is reached, as they feel something is still missing.

This is the type of drive that Olympic athletes feel, always aiming for the next better result, then one gold medal, then another, and at the end of their sporting career they end up feeling empty as they understand they don't have to pursue those goals anymore and don't know how to live differently.

Photo by Hert Niks

And then there are people who content themselves with easier-to-get goals that are satisfied with living simple lives, having a comfortable place to live and just enjoying a sunset with a loved one.

They have short-term goals, easily achievable and that give almost constant rewards.

So, they tend to feel happier even if their economic or social condition isn't the best.

As you can see, there are many measures of success, and sometimes even more than one per person, depending on the area they wish to improve.

So, how can you achieve success in a balanced way?

First you have to be clear on what success means to you and, most importantly, how you will feel when you achieve it.

Why?

Because you may feel that way before the goal you have set is achieved.

A sense of fulfilment happens during the process of working towards a goal and is, many times, more worthwhile to reach than reaching the goal itself.

Haven't you heard that Olympic athletes expected the thrill of winning a gold medal would be far greater than the feeling they ended up having, whereas an interim personal record was by far more satisfying than the end goal?

So, if you are a perfectionist, instead of working tirelessly for a certain goal then experience some sort of joy or personal gratification, break down your goal into smaller milestones and make sure to pause and enjoy each one as if a big goal has been achieved.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

This will cheer you up, improve your mood, and boost your confidence in yourself and the process.

Also, it will give you space to breathe and "smell the coffee", meaning, indulging in the short-term successes that come from living a more balanced life.

You will probably say: "Easier said than done" and I agree, because, due to familiarity, you feel you are unable to stop and be different, even if it costs your personal life, quality time with family or friends, and even your health.

This is where hypnotherapy can help as you will be directed to finding the root cause of this need for perfection that will soon be replaced with a more balanced approach to life.

Everybody wins: you, your family, your loved ones, because living a happy life is directly related to living a balanced life.

You have much to contribute to this world, I'm sure, you just need to do it in a way that is good for you too.

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash